MARTZ PAGE

2005-05-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

"TRUST"

Trust is trully a strong word. It means to so many people specially to relationships of two different people. When it breaks, it would definitely ruined your relationship.

I trust people so easily and that is one of my weaknesses. I end up having a bad relationship to that person. In effect to that, It's hard to be able to trust that person again. It hurts when you trust someone and that person breaks it. It feels like the world turned down on you. My mind keeps on thinking of questions like: why, what, how.

2005-03-20T07:50:00.000-08:00

I HOPE IT'S YOU

Are you real or are you a dream
Are you true, or not what it seem
Cause I've been there before
Don't wanna hurt myself no more oh no no

Someone who feels for me
Who's constantly inlove with me
And cares for me
Someone who won't say goodbye
Someone who can change my life
I hope its you, I hope its you

Will you stay, or will you leave
Shall I doubt, or shall I believe
Cause I've been there before
Don't wanna hurt myself no more oh no no

Someone who feels for me
Who's constantly inlove with me
And cares for meSomeone
who won't say goodbyeSomeone
who can change my life
I hope its you, I hope its you

How will I knowIf you're gonna be here tomorrow
Tell me baby how can I sayWhen there's no other way
But to give you my heart, my loveI'm trusting from
this timeBaby don't break my heart

Someone who feels for me
Who's constantly in love with me
And cares for me
Someone who won't say goodbye
Someone who can change my life

2005-03-20T07:22:00.000-08:00

I've been rejected

Have you found someone who you knew that that person is the perfect person for you, that you want to spend your life with her, that your world goes crazy for that girl, that you dont want to think of anything but her, that you feel like doing almost everything just for her and at the end she already found someone whom she loves more. What would you feel?

It hurts a lot isn't it??? It feels like the whole world turned down on you.
(ang sakit, nakakaasar. ang sakit sobra.)

But that's ok, It is not the end of the world. God has plans for all of us and I am waiting for that to happen.

(pero ito lng ang masasabi ko. masakit pala talaga kapag nagmamahal ka ng totoo.)

2005-03-12T08:39:00.000-08:00

BESTFRIEND

Ang hirap minsan na magisa. Lalo na kung alam mo na lahat ng kaibigan mo eh busy at lahat ay nagtatrabaho na. Pero mas masakit naman ung mga tunay mong kaibigan ang nagdown sa iyo. Hirap ng ganun. maliit na request lang ay hindi pa mapagbigyan pero sa bawat may kailangan sila sayo ay hindi mo naman sila matanggihan dahil sa kaibigan mo sila. Sana lang eh ganun din sila sa iyo. :(

2004-07-18T23:11:00.000-07:00

USELESS

I dont what just happened to me. In just a matter of minute, my whole world seemed so dark. I feel so worthless and useless. The paranoia strikes through my brain without thinking too much. My brain tells me that Im now cold and feels like dont want to minggle with my friends. I just lost my appetite towards talking to people.

My heart beats like there is a guilt that i dont even know what it is. Is it a guilt or hatred?

Im am sad, so sad that I can hit myself with my own fist. A hit that would make a mark and will last for a long time.

I want to rest, I want to be alone for the moment. Until I gain myself back. I hate my uncles for being like what they are right now and I hate some of our relatives who were only visible if they need something from us. I hate my friends who are only using me and untrue. I hate those who are not honest and those who dont treasure friendship as I do.

Most of all, I hate myself for having me....

2004-06-22T19:28:00.000-07:00

Just want to Add

I just want to add. I saw a beautiful lady just last night when I was on my way home. I couldn't catch her attention... SHE IS REALLY PRETTY...

Do someone know how to make friends even if you dont know the person???? Please Help

Last night, I wanted to make friends with her but she might be scared if I do that (coz Im a stranger).

2004-06-22T18:47:00.000-07:00

My Long Lost Best Friend

I just recieved a message from a friend in friendster. He confirmed that he is the person I've been looking for. He is my long lost best friend when I was in elementary at CKSC (Chiang Kai Shek College).

It is coincidence actually that I found him. I just met Marinelle, who is an OJT here in Trend Micro, and she also studied at CKSC (highschool). So I chat with her and ask her about my best friend. At first she denied that she didn't know anyone that goes by the name "Jon Erickson" but at the end of the day. She messaged me and she asked about it. I hurriedly opened another internet explorer and accessed friendster (she gave me a link). With my surprise, I was startled. I read all the testimonials and I found out that he also studied at CKSC. I wrote a message to confirm if he is "Jon Erickson Chan". Small World!!!

Thank You Lord for letting me see my best friend again...

2004-06-07T22:19:00.000-07:00

School sick - FEU East Asia College

I know that it is something that you wouldn't believe me saying but it is true. I miss my school. I'm here in Trend Micro for about 4-5 months now and honestly, I am tired.

What I miss about:
1. FOOTLONG
2. Computer Society
3. Ma'am Cadag with the rest of recreation staff
4. COMLAB
5. School Activities (even if it did give me a hard time)

2004-05-17T01:56:00.000-07:00

A Partner

Yes indeed, all of us need a partner. A partner whom you could share your life with. A partner to unburden all your secrets yet you feel secured. A partner who understands you most of the time.

There were a lot of ladies who passed by my life. They have created a mark in my heart that seems so hard to forget. They made me realize How life is great and how relationship shouldn't be played off. I could also relate these ladies to a song.

"PASSENGER SEAT"
The first one who came into my life was really pretty inside and out. She is very sweet and very caring. She has this maturity that surpasses all the ladies that I have met and yet has this very good sense of humor. Whenever I'm with her I feel so secured. She always makes me smile and definitely brings out the best in me.

"Bakit Pa Ba"
Next was someone who I met not that well. The feeling just started when I texted her. She is pretty but our relationship didn't last.

"THERE IS SOMETHING IN THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ME"
Recently, I met someone from text. She is actually the sister of my uncle's kabarkada. We met at SM North at Starbucks and damn she is cute and sexy. I began to have a low self esteem when I saw her coz I wasn't dressed as nice as she was dressed. She has this snobbish look but once you get to know her SHE IS REALLY REALLY NICE!!! She is very sweet and caring and I Love her for that. I actually do like her. It was a bit annoying that we started so fast. I didn't continue corting her coz of some incident that happend to me with my uncle. We had a small misunderstanding about her.

I surely miss them but life must go on. I shouldn't be thinking much about this. I know that someday that I will find the right one for me.

2004-05-04T18:35:00.000-07:00

PARANOIA

There are a lot of things which I can't explain. I can't even seem to find an answer for a specific question that always bothering my mind. I am like this since childhood and it never change.

Do you ever know the feeling of being guilty of the things which you shoudn't be worrying about? Well, I always do feel like that. Once I talked to my bestfriend bout this attitude of mine and he is so eager to let me realize that there's nothing wrong with the things on what I think is wrong. Everytime I do something, at the back of my mind, I always thought of what I did. "Did I personally offend the person?", "Did I say something wrong?", "What have I done wrong?" these are the questions that keeps rolling in my mind.

Paranoid. That is what I call myself. I'm trying to change the way I think but my mind keeps on thinking of things that would make the situation worst. I end up having a wrong decision coz whenever I am too quiet that means that I dont want to do more mistakes.

This feeling begun when I was browsing in friendster. I am so dissapointed on what I found out. Something that triggers my paraoid mind to begin to think again. Jut dont know what to do. I feel so depressed right now.

2004-05-02T17:57:00.000-07:00

"Every Beginning has an End"

When I first entered in Trend Micro (my OJT site), I was really nervous and really uncomfortable on the new environment that I was dealing with. There were people looking you from head to toe (coz I was new in the company) and sometimes they make threatening voice just for me to feel intimidated (that was what I felt before). All the uncertainties and hesitations were gone when I saw my schoolmates who are also having their training in Trend Micro (namely: Trishia, Gilbert, Conrad, Regina, Leizel, Rey, Nancy, Rael, Gino). They were those who helped me to feel comfortable. Gilbert, Conrad and Gino are my masters when it comes to "Table Tennis". I still call them masters coz I still haven't defeated them yet. The ladies thought me how to do my work especially Trishia. She thought me everything that she knew about the project that we are working.

Trisha and I were isolated in a different room called "Boracay" together with Sir Jason (Project Manager) and Sir George (Lead programmer). So most of the time, I spend my time chatting with Trishia. The cool thing about her is that even if she was sick, she always try to help me. Sometimes I even thought of myself as a big pest who was bugging trishia the whole day that we were together in the project (coz I always ask questions and sometimes I hardly hear what other people are saying).

Now the time has come and happy moments has come to an end (like in matrix --- "Every beginning has an end") hehe corny!?!?!
Intern2 students are about to leave the company. They are about to leave us here in Trend Micro with the laughs and learnings that they have shared to us. There are new OJTs and employees hired and it is time for us to make them feel comfortable here in Trend Micro. For me, they will always remain in my heart.... <<< (naks corny na sobra.. hehe..)

2004-03-20T07:21:00.000-08:00

TIME TO CARE FOR OTHERS

I'm a big idiot. That is all I can describe myself right now. I just watched the movie entitled "Stuck on You", even though it is a comedy type of film it somehow touched my heart. The two had a succesfull operation and succesfully they are being separated. They were happy at first but as time goes by, they realized that they are not happy if one is missing. They miss each other's company. My point here is that, if you really care somebody, try to make everyday the best days of your life. Be happy that you have each other's company. Share your blessings, share your thoughts and most especially, share your smile. Learn how to forgive. Learn how to say "I Love You". Learn to give without expecting nothing in return.
I feel damn sad right now because all I can think of myself are my mistakes that I did. All the friendship that I lost and the love that I just let it passed. I'm bothered and dont know what to do. What is a life for me?

2004-03-16T01:48:00.000-08:00

Again this is my first post. I have created my first blog site. But the stupid me lost the username and password. This is my last. Soon I will also have a link with my flash site... I'm still working on it....